Torture

This is what 6:55 looked like at my house tonight.

My kids hate bathtime. Can't you tell?


I practically have to drag them into the bathroom.


And listen to their screams as they sit and soak.
It's pure torture for them both.

Or something like that.

Everybody needs a good melt down once in a while

The scene:

I go into Bed Bath & Beyond to get one item. After walking around the entire store once and not being able to find it, Cade starts to fuss in his car seat in the cart. I lift him out of the car seat and go ask for help locating what I need. The associate points me towards a certain department (I have already looked there, but I'll give it another shot) and Boston starts to whine that he wants to get out of the cart too. I tell him I can't hold Cade AND push the cart AND keep track of him at the same time so he will have to just sit tight for 1 more minute.

The whining turns in to more of a cry. I make the horrendous mistake of telling him he must be tired and that's why he's crying and we need to go home and take a nap. The cry turns into more of an ear-piercing scream. I can barely make out the words "I DON'T WANT TO TAKE A NAP!" in the midst of all the screaming. (Side note: Boston very very rarely throws tantrums, so when he does I know he's really beyond tired, and at this point I'm thinking to myself, "You really do need a nap child.") Now that he's having a full-blown melt down, I decide to abandon my search and just pack up and go home. I strap Cade in his car seat and he starts screaming too (also tired). Everyone around me is giving me sympathetic smiles, but really I know they are thinking, "I'm so glad I'm not her right now."

I make my way out to the parking lot, strap everyone in, and head home. At one point I tell Boston, "The more you scream, the more I know you need a nap." At this point he stops crying and is quiet the rest of the way home! Cade continues to cry but as soon as we get home I put him in his bed and he is out. When I come out of Cade's room, this is what I see:I put his pillow next to him and started to lay him down. He tried as hard as he could to open his eyes and he mumbled, "I'm not sleepy Mommy; I don't need to take a..."

And that was that.

Brothers

Freshly bathed boys playing happily together...

...it makes my heart smile.

Boys

I LOVE having two boys.

In the anticipation of Erin finding out if her wee one is a he or a she, I have been thinking a lot about being a mom to two boys. Before I had kids, I always thought I was more of a "girl mom." I'm not athletic; I'm not outdoorsy; I don't know anything about cars, sports, bugs, etc. Make-up and hairbows and tea parties are more my area of expertise. Fast forward three years...and now I can't imagine having anything other than these two little rough-and-tumble boys.

I love watching them together as Cade gets older. He gets such a kick out of Boston. Tonight after eating the dinner that I slaved for hours over (or maybe it was Papa Johns, you'll never know) Boston scooted Cade around the kitchen floor in the bumbo for a while and they settled under the table. They hung out there for a long time, just two little peas in a pod.





(PS: see the taped off base boards in the background?? We finally painted our kitchen after two years! Pictures coming soon!)

Overheard in our house...

after climbing up on the counter and standing in front of the cupboard that houses our candy stash: "Mom, what should I have in my mouth?"

very nonchalantly: "Mommy, you have green poop on your shirt." (Don't worry, it was mint chocolate chip ice cream)

after Jamie told him he could go to school with him to pick up a project: "Bye mommy! I'm 5 and I'm going to school with Daddy!" (obviously he can't wait until he's 5 so he can go to school)

"Mommy, what should we do today?" (I hear this constantly, even if it's 8:00 at night)

(preface: Ever since Cade was born, Boston has referred to me nursing Cade as "Cade eating mommy's tummy.") This morning Cade was laying on my bed in just a diaper. I looked over to see Boston sucking on Cade's chest. I laughed and asked him what he was doing (even though I already knew...) "I'm eating Cade's tummy!"

Thoughts on Mother's Day

This is what 9:45 looked like at my house tonight. Two little monkeys asleep in my bed because Daddy is gone and Mommy is too tired to fight two battles at once all alone! My kids are just not good sleepers. Never have been. Neither of them. I'm beginning to think it's my fault, since I'm 0 for 2. I had big plans for myself for tonight. Plans that included a bubble bath, maybe some piano music, most definitely chocolate. But...these little stinkers changed those plans. After about 30 minutes of Boston crying that he wanted to stay awake and "be my helper" (he could hear me doing dishes), I caved and let him sit on the counter and entertain Cade while I loaded the dishwasher. Then later, after about 30 minutes of Cade crying because HEAVEN FORBID I should do anything but bounce him to sleep and then hold him all night, I caved and nursed him to sleep. (I say "caved" not because I am personally against nursing babies to sleep, but because it poses a significant problem for Jamie or anyone else trying to put him to sleep when I'm gone.)

I have to admit, earlier today I was feeling a little sorry for myself. Just having a blue day I guess. It was a frenzied morning getting ready and out the door for church. (My fault, because I didn't prepare my primary singing time stuff ahead of time...) Then on the way into church the key I recently had copied didn't work in the closet that I needed to get into to get the Mother's Day song poster; I had Cade + a million other things in my arms and kept dropping one thing or another every few steps (luckily not Cade); then my beautiful corsage Jamie had given me fell apart and hit the ground. At that point I had had it.

...and then...

I swore. (just a little one, not a really bad one, but still)

Yes. At church. Out loud. In front of my family. I'm *hoping* Boston didn't hear me, but he may have.

There, I feel better getting that out.

Anyway, after church and after all that I was just feeling exhausted and a little sorry for myself that I didn't get to spend Mother's Day relaxing all day, in my perfectly clean house, while being served my meals in bed and while keeping my pretty little pedicured feet up on pillows without a care in the world. (Because I'm sure that's what all you other mothers did today, right?) But I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

As you can tell, by the evening I was just in no mood to approach bedtime with any semblance of patience. So after trying unsuccessfully to get Boston to stay in his bed, and trying unsuccessfully to put Cade down in his bed, I just gave in. I piled both of them in the bed with me and let Boston fall asleep watching TV while I nursed Cade to sleep. And then as I laid there snuggled between my two slumbering angels, something clicked and I realized...it really doesn't get any better than this. This is what motherhood is all about. What was I complaining about? I have two incredibly healthy and happy children. I have the gospel and a strong family to help me raise them. I have a husband who is working his tail off to get through school so he can support his family. I have a two year old who thinks his mommy can move mountains. I have a 6 month old who just loves to be close to me. It truly is a gift and a privelage to be a mother. It's hard to remember that sometimes in the thick of things (like when I can't remember when I showered last or when I can't remember the last time I slept more than 6 hours straight), but it's true. And I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Singing and Cereal

Tonight I gave Cade rice cereal for the first time and as I was taking some pictures of the inevitable mess, I decided to take some video, too. Boston stole the show. He loves to sing. He often sings to himself and will usually sing with me when I ask him to. I do singing time in his nursery class at church and he is known as the "star singer." As you can see, Twinkle Twinkle needs a little fine tuning, but pretty good for 2 and 1/2 I guess.


This video was taken at 6:30pm. Yes, my child is still in his pajamas. Yes, I bribed him with candy to get him to sing for me. And yes, I let him eat a half a box of candy hearts left over from Valentine's day as a reward. It was just one of those kind of days!

Cereal face boy! I didn't even bother putting a bib on him because his shirt was already so trashed and I was about to put the boys in the bath anyway.

The whole time I was feeding him he just wanted the spoon and was getting mad that I wasn't giving it to him. He was one happy camper when it was over and he could chew on the spoon for a while.

This is a lame picture of Boston, I know, but there's a story behind it. He was sitting on his stool facing the wall like this in the living room, but really he was in his own little world. When I asked him what he was doing, he said, "I'm eating cucumbers and mashed potatoes." Strange child.

Oh, and remember this cryptic post? Well, the cat's out of the bag! Check it out here. Congrats to Erin, Jeff, and Jackson!

Rub-a-Dub-Dub

I usually bathe Cade after Boston goes to sleep, but I wanted to try putting Cade to sleep earlier tonight (ha...see my next post) so I bathed them together. Cade's baby bath takes up so much room in the tub, so I decided to just put Cade in the Bumbo. (By the way, whoever invented the Bumbo deserves a Nobel Prize.) Boston was just in heaven; he thought it was the greatest thing ever. I thought it was pretty great, too, until I turned my back to get a washcloth out of the cupboard and heard Boston--in his best baby talk voice--saying, "Let's get you out of that seat, Cade!" I turned around to find him lifting Cade out of the Bumbo.

I think that might be the last time we do that for a little while.

Boss wanted to be a "big helper" and wash Cade. He started by dumping a cup of water on his head. I told him he should just stick to the feet.


When both boys started getting restless I moved Cade to his bath on the bathroom floor. They both liked that better.

As soon as I pulled Cade out Boston was dying to try out the Bumbo.

To Do

I'm starting quite the collection of pictures that look like this

I just finished cleaning the kitchen. Then I wrote "clean kitchen" on my to-do list and crossed it off. Just so I could have something crossed off my list. It's an obsession of mine: making lists. Actually I guess it would technically be a compulsion, since it's an action I have to do everyday... Oh well.

Also on my list, just waiting to be crossed off, are the following: clean bathrooms, return defective Wiggles DVD to the library (I wasn't too disappointed that it didn't work in the first place, but Boston was), return some peanut butter crackers to Sam's, and fold 4 loads of laundry.

Dinner preparation should probably be on that list somewhere too. Sitting at the computer typing this post shouldn't. So it's back to my list I go....

Matching

I put the boys in matching outfits for the first time yesterday. I tried to do a little photo shoot before church, but it didn't go too well (it rarely does). This is about the only good shot I got:

Most of them turned out more like this:

And then here's Boston this morning, wearing Mawmaw's glasses that she left here on Saturday. I don't think they're your color, Boss!

My Life

At work, I'm constantly reminded how unique my life is. I'm 24, happily married for 5 years, with 2 kids. I get a lot of shocked looks when people find out I have a newborn. Then they about die when I say I have a 2 year old too. In Utah it was quite normal; here, not so much. But I love my life. Sometimes I have to chuckle, though, about how different my life is than most other 24 year olds.

For example, my proudest moment in the last 24 hours: pumping 9 ounces of milk in one sitting for my little Cade. When I talk to Jamie from work I sometimes report how much I pumped. When it's more than 7 or 8 oz. he usually gives me a "good job" or "nice!" We just get excited about that kind of stuff, what can I say? It's nice to know I can provide everything he needs.

Then there's the most exciting moment in the last 24 hours: finding Boston's train, Diesel, that was recently gifted to him from Manny and then promptly lost. The problem with Boston losing his trains is that they could be anywhere. And I do mean anywhere because he takes them everywhere. I spent a solid hour yesterday searching under couches, in drawers, behind beds...literally everywhere for his train with Boston following close behind, whining "mommy, find my Diesel, find my Diesel." I finally gave up, convinced that Diesel had surely vanished into thin air (the only logical explanation). When I was in the kitchen a few hours later, Boston came in exclaiming, "Mommy, found Diesel!" We celebrated like we had just won the lottery. When I asked him where he found it, he insisted it was on the floor in the middle of the TV room. I promise I did look there.

Lastly, the funniest moment in the last 24 hours: Cade is in the bath and starts to pee. The stream is aimed directly at his face and next thing I know, he's lapping it up like a water fountain. Boston starts laughing and yells, "Cade pooped in his mouth Mommy!" So then I have a good laugh too.

In With the New

Happy New Year!

Brothers

I sure miss having the time to share my thoughts and pictures on the blog as much as I used to. It seems like I only find myself with little bits of time here and there these days. If by some miracle one of those bits happens to come when both boys are asleep (which is rare since Boston only naps for about an hour a day now), taking a nap myself is definitely top priority. Yesterday Jamie watched the boys while I slept for 2 hours (thanks again Honey!) and I felt like a new person.

Anyway, life is good. I feel like I am starting to get a handle on having 2 kiddos finally. We made our return to church this last week and I was quite proud of myself for getting myself and both boys to church on time and everyone looking nice on top of that!

Hard to believe Cade is a month old already. He had his 1 month check up yesterday and surprised us all by weighing in at 8 lbs. 10 oz. and measuring 21.5 inches. That means he's gained over 2 lbs and grown 2 inches since he was born. Just call him Tubby!

Sunday morning in my rush to get us all ready for church, I had to make myself stop and let this moment happen: Boston telling Cade about the Thomas the Tank stickers he got over the weekend.


"This is Thomas; this is Percey..."And finally, Boss loving on his little brother. Boston wants to hold Cade all the time. It usually happens when Cade is hungry or tired so he ends up crying the whole time, but Boston doesn't care! The other night, though, Cade tolerated it for quite a while. It was a sweet moment.
But by this point, I think Cade was thinking, "ok, enough is enough!"

I'm glad these two will have eachother as they grow up. I hope they will be close buddies and not get into too much trouble! Heaven help me if we have all boys =)

Humbled

Boston being a "big helper" (as he calls himself) at the sink

Posting this picture of Boston on his stool at the sink reminded me of a story I've been meaning to share. Boston uses this stool to reach everything-the sink, the washer, the changing table. The other day he had his stool right in front of the changing table where I needed to be and after several requests for him to move, he was still wouldn't budge. So I pulled him off the stool and tossed it across the room to get it out of my way. Cade was screaming and as I recall I was in a hurry to get somewhere...can't remember the details now... Well Boston was crushed. He immediately started tearing up and said (in the sweetest voice I've ever heard) "Mommy, pwease no fro (throw) my stool..." That was such an eye-opener to me! No wonder we are told to be like little children. They are so pure. He sure taught me a lesson in patience.

Follow up: So several people have told me that they were surprised by my post me throwing Boston's stool across the room. I guess people think I'm always composed and perfectly loving? Maybe I should have kept the "perfect mom" image going a little longer...! No mother of the year award for me this year, darn!

Color Wonder and Hats

Whoever came up with Color Wonder paint and markers...thank you. I kept Boston home from church today because he has a runny nose and a cough. As much as I didn't want to...because the 3 toddler-free hours would have been wonderful... I just couldn't send him and his germs to nursery (even though that's probably where he got the virus in the first place!) So I got out some Color Wonder finger paints that Boss got for his bday and he spent a good half hour painting pictures for Dad.

On a different note, I'm used to wearing a lot of different hats. Right now my nursing hat is on the shelf for a while; my church hat too. In fact, really the only hat I'm sporting these days is the mom hat. I'm still getting used to this whole stay-at-home-mom thing. In just the few weeks I have been off of work since Cade was born I have gained an even greater appreciation for stay-at-home-moms.

It's harder than people think!

I wouldn't necessarily say it's a thankless job, because the love of my hubby and babies is worth it, but sometimes the fruits of my labors are harder to see. No patients to say thank you, no clocking out at the end of a hard shift, no paycheck at the end of every 2 weeks. Last night I was really discouraged and told Jamie I felt like I didn't get anything done all day. I didn't shower until 4:30--and only then because we had some visitors stopping by and I figured the pjs I had been wearing for almost 24 hours had to go; Boston had macaroni and cheese for dinner--no protein, no fruit, no vegetables, just starch and fake cheese (as Jamie calls it); and my to-do list from last week is still mostly untouched. At one point I was sitting in the bathroom nursing Cade on one side and trying to comfort a dripping wet, crying Boston on my lap at the same time because he has a diaper rash and the bath water hurt his bottom.

I was frazzled by the time Jamie got home from work. He tried to help me see that I kept the house clean and 2 boys happy all day, so the day was not a total waste. I guess this my new reality, and it will just take some getting used to. After a good night sleep (ha ha), it's a new day and, thankfully, another chance to try and get it right.

At the top of today's To-Do list: find Thomas the Tank Engine, who's been MIA for 2 days now.

P.S. Some of the font changes in this post were intentional; some were not, and I can't figure out how to make it look right. Apparently I don't have my blog-savvy hat on today, either.

Odds and Ends

I have officially survived being a mother of 2 for 2 weeks now. It's a new reality for all of us. We've had some funny experiences with Boston trying to make sense of all the new things going on around here. For example, he was watching me feed Cade one of the first few days and I could see the wheels turning in his head. He asked me, "what's that Mommy?" As I was thinking for a minute, searching for how exactly to explain breastfeeding to a 2-year old, he said, "baby kissing mommy's tummy?" So I said, "yes, Cade is kissing mommy's tummy!" and that was that =) He's also fascinated with watching me change Cade's diapers, not to mention pumping. It has been a fun, busy week. Erin and Jack came for a quick visit Monday and Tuesday. It was so fun, but too short; can't wait until they come back next week!



Recent pictures of Cade. He is changing everyday. He had his 2 week check up yesterday and he weighs 6 lbs. 12.5 oz. He also got his first injury at the hands of his brother yesterday. Boston was a little hyper and got carried away and grabbed Cade's hand and pulled really hard. His nails dug into Cade's skin and drew blood in 2 places. Cade started screaming and Boston started crying too. It was sad, but I'm sure it won't be the last time something like that happens! Boston also has a cold right now so it has been challenging to keep him away from Cade as much as possible. He wants to smother him with hugs and kisses all the time. I am hoping Cade doesn't get sick, but there's really no way to keep from sharing germs around here!
These dimples melt my heart!!Last night we celebrated Halloween with my mom and brothers in Flower Mound. Jamie and Mom took Boston to a few houses around the neighborhood and then Jamie made buffalo wings (yum). Halloween is such a silly holiday when you think about it. You dress your kids up and walk around asking for candy? Who thought of that? Oh well, we had a fun time. Boston was a cowboy-down to the boots-and Cade was just Cade, with some festive duds borrowed from Jackson.
Hydrating up for trick-or-treating.

Cade meets Papa

Yesterday we had family over for dinner and when my dad landed, he joined us and got to meet Cade!

Boston seems to be handling having Cade around very well. This morning was the first morning Boston has woken up with Cade here (he was at Mike and Melinda's on Saturday night). He was so excited when he came into the nursery and found me feeding Cade. No signs of jealousy yet, just very curious and always wants to know where "baby" is. He always calls him Baby or Baby Brother. Today I asked him, "what's that baby's name?" He answered right back, "that baby's name is...CADE!" (yelled with excitement). This morning the 4 of us went for a walk around the neighborhood. It was nice to get some exercise and some fresh air, although it was slow going because Boston wanted to push Cade in the huge stroller most of the time.

Here are some pictures from today. When Boston woke up from his nap he came in and sat down next to Cade on the couch and even shared his blanket with him-that's quite a love gesture coming from Boston=)

Good to be Home

Thank you, everyone, for your well wishes the last few days. Cade and I came home from the hospital yesterday around 1 pm. I never thought I'd be home less than 48 hours after having a c-section! In fact, I came home sooner with Cade than I did with Boston. I thought you had to stay an extra day, but my doctor said I could go whenever I felt up to it and it sure helped that I had an amazing post-partum nurse that got me out of bed and walking the halls the morning after my surgery. Plus, I missed Boston and my soft bed and the many other comforts of home, so I was ready to get home!

The last few days have been such a whirlwind, as you can imagine. Although I knew an emergency c-section was a possibility, I truly didn't think it would happen to me and I definitely could not have imagined how scary it would be. But Jamie and I both know that we were being watched over and couldn't be more grateful that Cade is here safe and sound.

Shortly after we got home yesterday, Mike and Nelwyn came over to meet Cade. These pictures are from their visit.

Then my mom came over to help out for a while and, mostly, to snuggle with Cade.
I have many other thoughts and pictures I'd love to share, but a nearly sleepless night has made for a very scattered brain this morning so that will have to wait for later! Right now I'm just loving on this little piece of heaven.