Last day of school

Goodbye first grade...hello summer!

Last Day of First Grade! May 31, 2013

I am so enchanted by this child of mine. As he gets older and more independent, I obviously spend more hands-on time with the younger ones. But I will always have a special place in my heart for my Bossy, the one who made me a mama.  I am so grateful for his obedient, nurturing, enthusiastic personality.  He is such a blessing to our family.  I'm looking forward to having him home more during the day, but I know it will be an adjustment for him (and all of us)!

I love this sweet children's book, called If I Could Keep You Little, by Marianne Richmond. The first time I picked it up, it immediately reminded me of Boston.  Some of my favorite lines:

If I could keep you little,

I'd hold your hand everywhere.
But then I'd miss you knowing,
"I can go... you stay there."

...

If I could keep you little,

I'd decide on matching clothes.
But then I'd miss you choosing
dots on top and stripes below.

...

If I could keep you little,

I'd keep you close to me.
But then I'd miss you growing
into who you're meant to be!

Race Cars

4:15 pm looked like this in my house today:

Three boys being cars, racing around the living room track. Boston insisted I be the announcer. 

Off to an early lead is the #4 orange car, driven by rookie Cade Walker. Right on his heels is the wild card, the #1 car, Hudson Walker. And ready to lap them both is veteran driver Boston Walker in the #6 blue car. Going into lap 200 Hudson seems distracted and now--what's this? he's left the track entirely folks! Now it's neck and neck between Boston and Cade and, coming around the bend, oh no! Cade takes an elbow to the chest and skids into the couch! But he's back on his wheels in no time, and catching up quick.  He seems to have picked up a passenger along the way, his trusty side kick, "Tri" the Triceratops! Boston stops to gas up and pick up "Furs" the Lion, while Cade takes advantage of the pit stop to take the lead again. On the home stretch now, and oh my! In a bold move, Boston has ejected Furs from his car towards Cade and Tri.  It's complete mayhem, people. There's debris on the track and Boston wipes out, sending him into a fit of laughter. But you can't keep a good car down, and they are both on their feet and at it again...

And so it continued for 45 minutes until they were both sweaty and panting, begging for gatorade.

I love my boys.

Heavy

I don't watch the news, as a rule. Every story seems to be some horribly sad piece about someone who died, the war, the poor economy, corruption in politics, shootings, car wrecks...it's just all so depressing.

Sometimes I do feel a little out of touch with current events, so while we were out to eat tonight, I found myself drawn to the news on the tv nearby.

And then a story came on about a woman in China who flushed her baby down the toilet, but the baby was cut out of the pipes and survived.  She flushed her baby down the toilet.  That image of them cutting the pipes to get the tiny baby out will haunt me for a long time.

I immediately told Jamie, "I hope she's convicted of attempted murder." It absolutely makes me sick to my stomach to think about it.  I cannot handle the thought of people suffering, especially children.  It is just too much for my heart to bear.  Sometimes I feel so burdened with the weight of other people's suffering--patients I take care of at the hospital, news stories, strangers, and friends alike.

A part of me does feel sadness for that mother.  Although what she did was so awful, and I cannot fathom how anyone could do such a terrible thing, I imagine she must have felt desperate, hopeless, and alone.  My heart hurts for her too.

I just feel heavy tonight.  A bit overwhelmed with my own responsibilities and commitments, but also humbled that my "problems" pale in comparison to the suffering all over the world and in my own circle of friends.

Although I feel so small and powerless to right the wrongs I see around me, I do have hope that I can help and serve others in small ways everyday.  My best friend recently told me she feels like people who are nurses are called to that work.  I never thought of it that way, but I believe it.  I do feel called to relieve pain and suffering of my patients and their families.

But the far more reaching calling is in my own family.  If there is one thing I want for my children, it is for them to be kind. I don't care so much about what they will do for work, whether they will be artists or zoologists or doctors or musicians, or none of the above. I just hope they are kind. That they always look for ways to serve and encourage others. That they do their part to relieve the suffering they see around them.

Because I believe that is what we are all called to do.

Holding her makes my heart feel lighter. 

Grandpa Shirts

Cade calls this red striped shirt his "grandpa shirt" because it reminds him of how his Grandpa Mike dresses. Today was double duty, as it is now one of Hudson's favorites too. 

When Soft Hooves (the reindeer) comes with us to run errands, safety comes first. Buckle up for safety, Soft Hooves.  

Memorial Day

Hooray for no work, no school, water park with friends (even if it was a little chilly), long afternoon naps, dinner at Rosa's, and a little cup of sour cream for dessert. 

(Don't worry, I only let him take a few licks and then took it away...so gross!)

Story time

Reading to the boys is one of my favorite times of the day. Hudson is already in bed so I can just snuggle with the older boys. 

They almost always choose animal books, no matter how much I encourage them to pick some we haven't read in a while, and no matter how many times we've already read them!

They are so active all the time, I savor the quiet time when they often reach for my hands or lay their heads on my shoulders. Tonight Cade could not fight sleep long enough to make it through Big Cats and Amazing Jungle Animals.

Temple Trip

We went to the temple today with our primary. It's always a sweaty, but wonderful time!

The best family picture we could manage considering the sun in our eyes and a cranky boy who didn't want to sit still for a picture:

Sister spent her time smiling it up, as usual.

Pictures from home

I love getting texts from Mom while I'm working! From today:

"Cereal was a bust-now for a nice bath!!"

"Oh, just hanging out in the cradle getting ready for nap time."

"A little sprinkler trampoline fun while Avery naps!"

Date Night

Date night with the hubs tonight!

There are few things that make Jamie more uncomfortable than having his picture taken. I even begged him to be normal for one picture for my blog post today. No such luck:

Morning Pow-Wow

These two had a little snuggle session in the rocking chair this morning. I love it when he looks into her eyes and she bursts into giggles. Hudson loves his Avie.

Tarjay

We had a last minute showing tonight.  Jamie was working late, so I had to scramble through dinner, picking up and staging the whole house, and loading everyone up to get out the door.

Once in the car we headed to Target, my home away from home. Seriously, who doesn't love a good browse-around-throwing-crap-in-the-cart-you-don't-really-need night at Target?! I actually did need some groceries (since I headed there earlier today, only to realize I left my wallet in my church bag at home...) but we scored a few other treats, like a new pool bag, cheap flip flops for the beach/pool this summer, and of course Icees.

I love Avery's expression! 

Of course, a silly face picture was necessary.

Salt & Pepper

Today was a long one.  The morning was good, but as the day went on, I'm just gonna be honest...I wanted to run for the hills (or maybe Manny's house).  At one point all four kids were crying, and I was close to joining them.

I was recently talking to a girl at work who just had her first baby.  After showing me pictures of the chunky little guy and gushing about how cute his half-smile is, she said something along the lines of, "I don't know how you do it with four." She got teary-eyed talking about going home after a 12 hour shift, and being handed a crying baby in need of a meal from his mama by a worn-out husband in need of a break.

I jumped up and gave her a hug, told her she is doing terrifically well.  I assured her that it is so worth it, even though the days and nights can feel impossibly long. That admitting it's been a harder adjustment than she thought doesn't mean she's a bad mom.  That the joy of motherhood comes in moments, sometimes difficult to recognize in the midst of the messes and the crying and the weight of the world she feels on her shoulders.

But the secret is to hold on to those shining moments for dear life and let them buoy you up. When you are barely treading water.  When you feel like what you are doing is not good enough.  When you don't think you can make it to bedtime.  When you think being a mother is the hardest job you've ever done. When you want to give up.

At 4:45 today, everyone was in tears, and I was frazzled.  At 5:15 we were sitting at the dinner table giggling at Hudson playing with the salt and pepper.  He was so proud of himself for building this tower!

Then he realized they made the perfect wall to play peek-a-boo with his brothers.

Those big brown eyes and that contagious smile, they get me every time. 

Birthday Boy

Well, the hubs turned 32 today. I kinda like him a lot. Not just for the things he does (which are many, and greatly appreciated) but for the person he is and the example he sets for our family.

I think I'll keep him around.

Happy Birthday Jamie

We spent the weekend in Plano and Melinda made Jamie a Reese's cake for his birthday...so delish!

After this shot we tried putting Avery in Jamie's lap to get a picture with him and all 4 babes, but Hudson was so mad that he was having to wait for cake that he freaked and started bawling. Poor thing...that cake was sitting right in front of him calling his name! So much for that photo op.

Tomorrow Jamie turns the big 32! You can tell how he feels about it...

Snuggling

After a long busy day at work there's nothing better than snuggling on the couch with one (or more) of my babies! Being away for a day makes the reunion so sweet.

Hugs

Hudson was feeling the love tonight at Boston's t-ball game. It started with him wanting to "ahug Avie" and then led to hugs for all his little playmates at the game. Despite her face in this picture, Avery actually really loves Hudson. He always gets right in her face and makes her smile.

My favorite thing about this picture: they both have the chubbiest cheeks that just beg to be kissed and pinched!

Dirty

Hudson's usual playmates were all missing at t-ball practice tonight. Not to worry, there was plenty of dirt to keep him busy.

Bath time

This is Hudson's idea of sharing with Avery in the bath. It's a big improvement over last night, when he poured a cup of water on her head and then threw a fit when I took it away!

Mother's Day

Washington DC Temple June 1994, the day of our sealing

Today was a beautiful low-key day, just the way I like it. Got to spend the day with my mom and the little ones I am blessed to mother. Couldn't ask for more.

Saturdays

Typical Saturday at our house:

Chores in the morning. Especially while the house is on the market, we have to keep everything in tip top shape. Hudson is obsessed with watching Jamie do the yard. Usually he runs from window to window to get the best view, but today he insisted on going outside. I set up his camping chair so he had a front row seat.

T-ball mid-day. It was a beautiful day for games. 80 and breezy. Boston even made an unassisted double play in his game! Avery was way more interested in chewing on my necklace than watching the game.

Dinner and grocery shopping in the evening. The only thing I hate more than grocery shopping is grocery shopping with the kids! So we usually make a night of it, go out to dinner (Rosa's tonight for the tortilla press entertainment value alone) and then Jamie takes the kids to look at toys while I grocery shop in peace.

I'm usually exhausted by Saturday night after all the activities of the day, but I wouldn't want to spend my Saturdays with anyone other than my favorite 5 people!